Singing the Songs of Zion in Babylon
Psalm 137
By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept
when we remembered Zion.
There on the poplars
we hung our harps,
for there our captors asked us for songs,
our tormentors demanded songs of joy;
they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”
How can we sing the songs of the LORD
while in a foreign land?
If I forget you, O Jerusalem,
may my right hand forget its skill .
May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth
if I do not remember you,
if I do not consider Jerusalem
my highest joy.
Remember, O LORD, what the Edomites did
on the day Jerusalem fell.
“Tear it down,” they cried,
“tear it down to its foundations!”
O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is he who repays you
for what you have done to us-
he who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks.
The exiles hung up their harps and wept. They called curses upon their enemies, praising those who sought revenge for their misfortune. The joy and passion of their faith crumbled under the weight of exile. Dwelling in a foreign land surrounded by unbelievers whose lifestyles they despised the Israelites withdrew into themselves. Despair, fear, and hatred replaced the songs they had once sung. They longed for home - for the Jerusalem they once loved. The home only an exile can long for - an idyllic place free from oppression and sin. A conception based more on nostalgia than reality. And this nostalgia consumed them to the point of desiring the worst forms of violence and revenge upon their neighbors. They claimed citizenship elsewhere and wanted nothing to do with their current homeland.
Seeing this attitude among the exiles, the Prophet Jeremiah sent them a letter. He wrote -
This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” (Jeremiah 29:4-7)
Settle down. Plant gardens. Seek the peace and prosperity of Babylon. A far cry from the calls for revenge involving bashing babies’ heads against rocks. Basically, Jeremiah tells them to get over themselves and their self-centered whining. God has placed them in Babylon and they need to stay faithful to who he has called them to be. Instead of blaming those around them for the lose of something that never really was, they are to become a part of their new community. They are to put down roots, get involved, and work for the good of that community.
I see this same dynamic at play in the church today. So many Christians (both liberal and conservative) are disgusted to be in “exile” amidst the sinful, secular, bastions of empire. They curse the culture, they curse the government, and metaphorically hang up their harps and withdraw from the system. Since the system is evil, they choose to wash their hands of it and refuse to get involved.
This is especially true in election years. All around me I hear the call to abandon the system lest I be seduced into believing it to hold my salvation. I am encouraged to merely stand at the periphery and observe - not tainting myself by choosing a candidate or even by voting at all. I am reminded that my allegiance is not to this land as if it was only the otherworldly things that matter.
And I admit that I am in exile in Babylon. The pain and suffering around me testify that the Kingdom of God is not yet fully present. I lament the actions of empire and absolutely do not see my salvation in any manifestation thereof.
But.
I am still going to seek the peace and prosperity of where I reside. I will settle down and build community. And in seeking to do these things I will get involved. I will care enough about those around me to vote. I will not place myself above the everyday working of my community by not condescending to use my voice to affect change. And I won’t just get involved in an advisory holier than thou sort of way either. I will get dirty as I put down roots and take a stand. I will serve the Lord and will do so within the community I call home - even if that home is Babylon.
True peace and prosperity serve God. And I have no fears about seeking such even in America. I will not hang up my harp and relinquish hope because my hope is in God and not in the land. Exile should not result in silence, but activism. And so I do not disdain the politics of Babylon, but bring the joy and hope of Zion into my new home.
This post is part of a Synchroblog on God and Politics. I will post links to the other participants as they become available.
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Synchroblog, Politics | 7 Comments »
Questioning God
I’ve almost found it amusing recently the amount of “advice” I’ve been given about my relationship with God. It seems that friends and family hear about my recent health problems and our issues selling our house and they assume I must be bitter and angry at God. I’ve been reminded over and over how I just need to trust that God always has my best interests in mind and that I should never question him. Others comment that God promises that life will be difficult so one shouldn’t feel entitled to things going right.
While I agree that bitterness sprung from misguided feelings of entitlement is dangerous, I am disturbed by the underlying assumption present in most of this advice - that one can never question God. This is an assumption that I’ve been taught my whole life. To many, faith simply involves unthinking trust and acceptance of God, the Bible, and the basic vicissitudes of life. To question any of those things is to demonstrate at the very least a weak faith, if not a blasphemous heart. The story of Job was always the standard lesson for this no questioning rule. The reality of Job’s questions was ignored and Job’s choice not to curse God was interpreted as a choice not to question God. The moral of the tale was that we shouldn’t question God either.
So I was intrigued recently as I started reading Peter Rollins’ new book The Fidelity of Betrayal which proposes the necessity of questioning God for the truly faithful. As with Jacob wrestling with the angel, the faith of the Israelites is paradoxical in that “absolute commitment to God involves a deep and sustained wrestling with God” (p.32). The idea is that faith grows not through unthinking submission but through the process of questioning and understanding. And this was something the Israelites felt they could engage in. As Rollins points out, when Abraham pleads with God to save Sodom, Abraham not only felt able to question God, but that God didn’t seem to mind either.
This perspective on questioning presents a different take on our relationship with God. Instead of presenting God as an impersonal master we must submit to and obey, God is presented more as a good teacher. The sort of teacher that not only allows but encourages discussion and debate in the classroom knowing that the best sort of learning occurs when students are able to think through and discover things for themselves. Needless to say, I prefer this perspective. I never enjoyed feeling guilty growing up if I wanted to ask questions. And these days I am understanding that suppressing questions can be just as unhealthy as allowing questions to lead to bitterness. Blind trust and submission feels hollow to me - like I am worshiping an idea instead of a reality. Wrestling with God in some ways makes him more real - more tangible so to speak. I feel more assured in my faith as a result of those struggles.
So to all who are wondering and making assumptions - no I am not feeling bitter. But, yes, I am questioning and hopefully strengthening my faith in the process.
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Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Theology | 17 Comments »
Rant on Community Laws
Do community “laws” discriminate against certain sorts of people? (rant to follow…)
I was thinking about this the other day as I read in the paper about a local suburb that was making a new law restricting the number of cars that can be parked in front of a house. The law is in response to a local car collector who apparently has a dozen cars parked around his house, but I had to wonder about the ways it will hurt lower income households. I’ve had groups of friends who have rented houses together and therefore needed to park 8-9 cars in front of the house. And for families with multiple generations living together, multiple cars are just part of having multiple adults living together under the same roof. This is America - to be a working adult in most places in the country (that have no public transportation) you need a car. So this new rule limits the people who can live in the community to small single family households.
Same thing with laws about parking on the street. In towns that ban overnight street parking unless you have a home with a driveway, you can never have guests. I hated this when we lived in an apartment. We were more than willing to have friends or family stay on the pull out couch, but they would get a parking ticket (or would be towed) if they came to stay. The law effectively implies that only those rich enough to own a house with a driveway are allowed to entertain and socialize.
And don’t even get me started on the communities around here that have laws stating you cannot hang clothing up to dry outside. So I am not legally allowed to be environmentally friendly???
I understand these laws are all about property value and even safety, but when did your “right” not to have to look at my laundry or a few extra cars necessitate legal action? Does it really mess your life up to have to look at that stuff? As much as it messes up the lives of those that honestly need to park that many cars on the property? Some days I just have to wonder how far we will go to insulate ourselves against dealing with anyone not exactly like us or with anything we may not like. Are we really that self-consumed?
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: rants, Culture | 9 Comments »
The Silver Lining on Gas Prices
Since my life is all things baby these days, for some reason I pulled out Emma’s baby book and flipped through it. In the section about “the world around me” there was a list of how much stuff cost when she was born. I had to laugh when I saw the entry for a gallon of gas - $1.89. That’s one of those things that I should be looking at twenty years later and laughing at - not three and a half years later. I hope I don’t look back three years from now at Aidan’s book and laugh at the $4.17 price that’s listed there.
What I have found pleasantly amusing are the articles in the newspaper that attempt to point out the silver lining to high fuel prices. Most mentions of the high prices are complaints with a few threats about how we are destroying the environment by using fuel thrown in. While I don’t deny the truth of that, it is refreshing to read an optimistic viewpoint on occasion.
So what good is there in high fuel prices? According to recent articles the good ranges from better communities to more comfortable outings. Apparently since people are driving less these days (because they just plain can’t afford to drive anywhere) they are instead doing things in their own communities. They are riding bikes, walking to the local ice cream shop, sitting on their front porch, and taking their kids to neighborhood parks. In essence, people are reverting to the good old days when neighborhoods were actually neighborhoods. So even though I haven’t actually seen this happen yet in my community (our local park is full of texting and smoking jr. highers who hog all the swings…), it is apparently happening somewhere (or at least one hopes).
What I have noticed is the another silver lining the papers mentioned - that due to high fuel costs restaurants and shops are restraining their air conditioning usage. So instead of walking in from a pleasant summer night (I grew up in Texas all nights in Illinois are pleasant) into a sub-zero restaurant that makes you wish you brought a parka, one is able to actually dine comfortably in (gasp) summer clothes. So while I am not one to disdain AC in general, I am liking this economically driven sanity in AC control I am experiencing these days.
So as crazy at it may seem even high gas prices have some sort of a silver lining. (or perhaps we are desperately grasping at straws and are too easily amused…)
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Culture | 4 Comments »
Experience and Empathy
I’ve been thinking a lot about empathy and experience these past few weeks. I am fully aware how my access to a top rated hospital and health insurance saved mine and Aidan’s lives. Even as the medical bills pile higher and higher, I know that without on demand imaging services and easily available medications things could have gone much differently. I am beginning to understand (a little) of what most women in the world face when they bear children - the uncertainty of if they or the child will even survive.
It’s one thing to intellectually acknowledge the need for better health care around the world, I am discovering it is another thing altogether to attempt to imagine oneself in another’s position. I knew the need for equity before, but my experiences have helped me to empathize. I know I am lucky and privileged. I don’t desire to trivialize or cheapen the plight of others by claiming to truly understand, but I am a firm believer that empathy is necessary if one is to truly care and make a difference. And experience helps with that.
This message hit me recently in two ways. In the first I saw how experience and empathy can be betrayed by selfish interest and in the second how the hurting can be betrayed by our lack of experience. In the first instance I watched with incredulous sorrow as John McCain denounced the Supreme Court’s decision to offer basic legal rights to prisoners of war. It has pained me to watch this former POW compromise his convictions over the past couple of years as he panders to what he assumes the voters wish to hear. The empathy his experience once gave him for those suffering similar abuses has been traded at the alter of greed and selfish ambition. He abandoned the call to care for the Other with compassion and now looks to secure his own desires. His experience has been betrayed and its lessons squandered.
The second message came to me as I was re-reading one of my favorite fantasy series. In this instance the main character has just managed to rescue a group of women from essentially sex slavery. These women were given money to help establish new lives after the horrors they had faced. Thinking on this, the protagonist mused, “There are many things wealth cannot buy, and most of those are enumerated by philosophers who have never woken wondering if this day would be their last. It pleased me to know that the survivors… would, at the least, not have to worry about buying bread” (Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel’s Avatar, p.463). That idea struck me as it reminded me of the number of times I have heard calls for monetary charity argued away with just such philosophical excuses. Those who have not experienced starvation or the horrors of life often think we are doing others a favor by not making them dependent on outside aid or by offering them spiritual (not physical) help. Our lack of experience prevents us from truly being able to empathize with them or see their true needs. Sure, perhaps money cannot buy happiness, but basic survival needs must be met before happiness can even be considered. In these areas perhaps empathy should always be promoted before sophistry.
I’ve heard it said that learning to see things from the perspective of the other is the highest and hardest form of development. It takes a lot to put aside the self and beginning to understand things from another’s perspective. Yet the irony is that our own experiences are often what help us to learn how to empathize in such ways.
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Social Justice, Politics, mission | 4 Comments »
Thoughts for the Moment
It is a strange day. Via Christus (our church plant) officially ended last week. It was a necessary but sad ending. So today has felt rather strange as we had a quiet morning at home not hosting a church service. Life is full of transitions these days and it is often the small details of such that impact me the most.
Aidan is sleeping at the moment. He is doing very well - gaining weight and doing all the stuff babies do at this stage. I’m getting along. The blood clot has dissolved enough that I am regaining use of my leg. I haven’t been able to do much more than hobble to the bathroom the past couple of weeks, so walking (somewhat) again is a treat. I’m also getting off the heavy duty meds which thankfully means the fog in my head is clearing. I still have months of tests and treatment to go to get all this resolved, but the intense and painful part is ending. I think I was so desperate for life to return to some form of normal after Aidan was born that the pain and tedium of this was driving me nuts. But things are looking up.
I have a few posts in my head that I hope to post this next week. I hate living under a fog and look forward to being myself again soon. Until then…
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Personal | 2 Comments »
If it’s not one thing…
So I feel like I need to explain why I’ve disappeared from the online world and haven’t returned anyone’s emails in basically forever… Just as I was beginning to feel somewhat normal again after Aidan’s birth, I developed intense pain in my left leg. Apparently I developed a blood clot in my leg and it passed into my lungs. So I was back in the hospital last week, on all types of medications, and feeling like complete crap. I can’t breastfeed Aidan, I can’t stand on my leg, and I am just plain sick of being miserable (and not a little freaked out at being diagnosed with a life threatening issue). I should have expected something like this to happen with this “if it can go wrong it will” pregnancy, but good grief.
So that’s me for now. Just thought I’d let you know.
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Personal | 13 Comments »
Mommy Mode
Thank you all for the congrats and everything. I’m slowly recovering from giving birth and am slowly re-entering the world. Aidan and I are both doing well. I’m still in lots of pain (and rather drugged up) and haven’t slept much, but that’s how these things go!
To give the basic info. Aidan was born last Wednesday June 11 by emergency c-section. I went through the whole labor thing only to discover that he was positioned face up with his neck tilted back. It would have caused him severe trauma to be born vaginally, so I was rushed to have a c-section. I had to be completely put under and Mike couldn’t be in there, but the result was a healthy baby boy. If you are really interested, I posted the full birth story here. There are also more pictures and our reasons for choosing the name Aidan Elessar on the baby blog.
So I have no idea when I’ll get back to posting reguraly here, I’m taking things a day at a time at this point. But I can direct you to a piece I wrote for the Jesus Manifesto blog’s writing contest on Pentecost. I had a great time exploring themes on how the Holy Spirit works.
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Aidan, Personal | 8 Comments »
Aidan Elessar Clawson
Aidan Elessar Clawson
June 11, 2008, 3:15pm ~ 8 lbs., 1 oz.; 20 inches
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Uncategorized | 24 Comments »
Life Update
So yes I am still alive. No the baby isn’t here yet. Despite near constant contractions (literally all day, everyday…) I am not in real labor yet. But the false labor leaves me so mind-numbingly distracted and in so much pain that I am getting very very little done (unless watching hours of the Food Network and reading Emma dozens of books count as something…).
Anyway, in lieu of a real post, here’s a fun picture I took the other day (from a moving car window of course). Talk about truth in advertising…
Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Personal | 1 Comment »
God Uses Disciples
I’ve been reading through Brian McLaren’s newest book, Finding Our Way Again, an exploration of spiritual practices. I am enjoying his down to earth everyday perspective on the spiritual practices and have appreciated how he has integrated other issues he has written about into his thoughts on these topics. Our spiritual lives must be integrated, so of course one cannot have a theology of the kingdom or engage in changing everything without those things affecting our spiritual formation. It is all part of what it means holistically to be a Christian and must be a lifelong process as well. On that dimension, I was struck by the following passage (sorry for the lengthy quote, I just thought it was good) -
When any sector of the church stops learning, God simply overflows the structures that are in the way and works outside them with those willing to learn. As the old hymn says, God’s truth keeps marching on. God can’t be contained by the structures that claim to serve him but often try to manage and control him.
But then, as soon as the center of gravity shifts and those within the structures are ready to learn again, the Holy Spirit is there, ready to move to the next lesson in the ongoing educational process called history. Again and again through history, although we want to create “right people” and “wrong people” columns into which groups are sorted, God flips the script and sees two rows that cut across both columns: the “proud and unteachable people” row on top and the “humble and teachable people” row on the bottom. Grace flows downward, Scripture tells us, in both columns.
I find this delightful, because it tells the traditionalists that their tradition doesn’t protect them from losing their way, and it tells the revolutionaries that their zeal and courage don’t provide guarantees either. It calls everyone to humility and teachability, and invites everyone to climb up to a higher altitude and look for the larger pattern of God for which God constantly works - the common good.
And this, of course, is essential to finding our way. Practices are not for know-it-alls. Practices are for those who feel the need for change, growth, development, learning. Practices are for disciples. We could say that rituals are practices of learners, and ritualism is the continuation of the practice by people who have stopped learning. Similarly, we could say that traditions are the heritage of a community of learners, and traditionalism is the continuation of the heritage by people who have stopped learning.
The life-and-death question for each of our churches and denominations may boil down to this: are we a club for the elite who pretend to have arrived or a school for disciples who are still on the way? p. 137
I like how this perspective gives all the power and glory to God. When good things are happening, it is all God overflowing who he is into the world. We can draw lines, point fingers, and call names at the divisive or the new, but when God is moving does it really matter?
This ability to be lifelong learners and grow in our practice of faith seems like such a basic necessity for believers, but I have run into so many who think otherwise. I’ve had people tell me that they refuse to read certain books because it may force them to consider new things about God. Others who claim that they are too simple or too old to alter their faith habits. Still others who are assured that they know everything there is to know about the faith so they have no need to engage in learning or spiritual practices. I have always been uncomfortable with such attitudes, but have to admit that in their own way these people still love God even if they are not actively seeking him out. So I like the image of God overflowing (as opposed to abandoning) these stagnant vessels to still move in this world. I’d like to think that I am a disciple - continuing to grow and be used by God - at least that is what I seek. But if anything it is a good lesson in humility to know that God can overflow whatever boxes I create for him and move powerfully in the world.
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Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Church, Book Reviews | 1 Comment »
Faith and Hope
Last night we finally got around to watching the movie Children of Men. It was one of those movies we had meant to see when it came out, but given that we hardly ever watch movies anymore that never happened. But in my beached whale on couch stage, Netflix has come in quite handy. I thought the movie itself was engaging - a story of survival and possible hope in a post-apocalyptic world. The story of a world that has destroyed itself where no children are born and prejudice and violence reign of course provided good social commentary for where we are headed as a world today.
But what I found almost more interesting was a short documentary feature included on the DVD. The Possibility of Hope explored the themes of the movie and how close they are to our realities today. Commentary for this feature was provided by philosophers like Slavoj Zizek and writers like Naomi Klein. While the title of the piece implied something vaguely hopeful, I found it to be overly pessimistic. As they presented it, the world is so far past the breaking point that there is little chance for recovery. As some of them put it, even if everyone started to care about issues like the environment, poverty and globalization it wouldn’t matter at this point since we are so far gone. Then they claimed that getting everyone to care would be impossible anyway since caring for others just runs against the grain of human nature. Those who think otherwise were mocked for seeking a fairy tale Utopia. Of course the whole thing ended on a rather cheezy note of - “but we all should continue to have children because maybe they can provide some hope.”
Honestly this is one of those attitudes that I encounter often and that I have issues with. No I am not naive enough to believe that every single person on the planet will one day stop being selfish or that salvation/utopia will suddenly appear if they did. But at least within the bounds of my Christian faith, I don’t see compassion as entirely impossible. Perhaps we are inherently selfish creatures (or perhaps that is partially the conditioning of our individualistic culture), but the whole point of our faith is to be transformed. To assume that just means some magic wand takes care of the economic exchange of sin and forgiveness but does nothing to change who we are as people is a cheap and hollow faith in my opinion. If our faith is real then we should have no problem at least trying to put into practice commands like - “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Perhaps outside of religious faith compassion is too hard or a utopian dream, but within the Christian faith it forms the foundation for how we should be interacting with others. So I can’t buy that things can never change or that all hope is lost, not if I still believe in the transforming power of Jesus in people’s lives.
Unfortunately it is often Christians themselves who fight having to care at all. It is within the church that I hear the most prejudice, nationalism, and individualism. Excuses like - “but Jesus said the poor will always be with us so therefore we shouldn’t help them” to “I don’t want to condone sin (or their religion) if I given them aid” are often on the tip of our tongues. Others point blank state that their family’s needs will always come first (needs being a relative term in that sentence). And while the numbers who are anti-environmental are thankfully dwindling, it is still hard to find those who think that they personally need to make sacrifices to care for our world and its inhabitants.
In other words the one place compassion can and should be rampant is just as self-centered as the rest of the world. Even so, I don’t think this is a reflection of the way things have to be. Call it idealism or call it hope, I’m not ready to give up on my faith and the commands of the Bible that easily. I think the church (as in the body of Christ) can be transformed and be moved to love others. I don’t think all hope is lost or that we should just give up and retreat even further into ourselves. I actually do think there is the possibility of hope that things can be better - in both large and small ways. This is the naive utopianism that the documentary was mocking, I know. But it is part of what I’ve discovered I have to believe if I am serious about my faith. What’s the point of it anyway if I’m not following and trusting Jesus?
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Posted by Julie Clawson
Topics: Social Justice, Environment, Entertainment | 2 Comments »